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al150n
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 11-24-2006 Location:
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posted on 11-24-2006 at 13:20 |
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27 - never had a bf and still a virgin
This is the first time I have looked for anything like this and it has come as a shock. I was beginning to think that I must be the oldest virgin in the world and that no one would ever want me. I kind of resigned myself to the fact that guys want girls for one thing only and don't care where they get it as long as they get it often.
I don't tell anyone that I'm a virgin as it is seen as being really geeky. I told a few guys in chat rooms and they said 'You must be a really ugly bitch then' - as if the choice to be a virgin isn't mine.
I have ALWAYS wanted to keep my virginity until I am married as I want to sleep with only one person - it's my gift to give away and I will give it to the person who loves me completely and totally. I want my wedding night to be special - not something we do any night of the week - yet this is looked down upon by so many people. My sisters boyfriend thinks I am a lesbian and that I am a loser because I haven't been laid!!!
I am relieved to find that there are people out there that think the same as me and, whilst it does bother me that I have never had a boyfriend - it doesn't bother me that I am a virgin.
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 11-25-2006 at 01:01 |
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Some advice
What in the world kind of people have you been talking to? I'm 26 and still a virgin and I get nothing but complimented and huge respect when guys find out I'm a virgin. I'm also considered stereotypically 'good-looking' by many guys (I model professionally) and so when they find out I'm still a virign, it comes as a plesant surprise...Any unattractive, unappealing/overweight woman can get laid. It means nothing and most of the men don't respect them. Guys want to just have sex with you when they don't like or care about you. If a guy was really interested and/or falls in love with you, they will be happy and honoured to marry a virgin. Trust me, you are better off to stay single and enjoy your life, then sleep around with losers who will use you and then end up bitter and jadded. The people who give you a hard time are just jealous because most people don't have happy relationships anyway...half the population is divorced...Being a virgin is not 'who' you are so don't be so focused on it. The more you obsess about it, the more you will creep guys out about it as well. Also all the people having casual sex are not enjoying themselves THAT much. Casual sex with someone you don't love is nothing special. You aren't missing anything!!!!! I would say forget you're a virgin completely and concentrate on all the other things about you and concentrate on just dating without worrying about it. You will know really quickly if a guy is after a fling/one night stand. If this is the case, do NOT tell them you are a virgin, just reject them first. You're better off. Once you meet someone who is serious about you, then you can mention being a virgin and always mention it like you are proud....If you act ashamed about it, or make it a big deal, guys won't be as favourabe about it. You have to act 'happy' about it and not care what other's think and then either will anyone else. Deep down they will respect you instead.
Also, the women should always be in control when it comes to sex. Women have more at stake with it comes to sex than men so it should be YOUR decision. Don't let guys have that power over you. Remember you are bringing the guy up to your level, not lowering yourself down to their level just because they are horney.
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roxy1982
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 11-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 11-26-2006 at 22:06 |
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in response to al
Hey al, Im just like you in the sense that Im in my twenties 
(24), never a bf, and virgin. Im a good looking girl by the way (according to the opinion of many guys)
Im the only virgin I know. My last friend that was waiting till marriage just lost her virginity. I figured I was the last surviving one.
Only my close friends know Im a virgin. Some guys think im a sex machine, dont know why? Odd.
Thanks for the advice dreamangel.
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ScottTheNiceGuy
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 05-26-2005 Location: Toms River, NJ
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posted on 12-01-2006 at 10:21 |
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Just what I've been looking for!
Well, I'm a guy who's 22 and has been looking for girls just like yourselves.
I've always been a fan of searching for that right girl to learn things together with because I'm inexperienced and never done a sexual thing EVER. People look at me at times when I tell them this and they think I have three heads or something! haha
Some day you'll all find that right guy for you, because there are still a few of us left. 
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mellybean
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 12-02-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-02-2006 at 17:32 |
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A proud 25 year old virgin
Hi everyone.
I just happened to find this site when I was searching around and I think it's faboulous. I'm a 25 year old female who's never had a boyfriend and is still a virgin. Reading your stories makes me feel so much better about myself and my situation.
I've just recently begun this new "relationship" (we haven't made anything official yet). This guy and I spend alot of time together and we make out quite a bit and sometimes it leads to other things. But everytime he tries to make me orgasm, I freak out and make him stop. He's very understanding about how emotional this all makes me and he's totally willing to wait until I'm ready. He just keeps telling me that we need to find something that makes me comfortable and everything will fall into place after that.
Like another user on this site, everybody thinks that I've had plenty of sex because I like to talk about it alot, so they're surprised to find out that I've never even masturbated! I really do want to have sex with this guy but I don't know why I keep freaking out and making him stop. Any adivce would be appreciated.
Cheers!
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kotenochek
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 12-11-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-11-2006 at 21:51 |
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I agree :)
That is some great advice people! Dreamangel, what you wrote was cool!
If people think we are out-of-date 'cause of what we want...really, we are young people and that means our thinking is in-date, right?!
I am a 23yo guy and also a virgin. True, this comes from my firm belief that God cares about us and really honestly wants the best for us and that is why He told us what would work best...why would He want to just be a kill-joy?? You know, my girlfriend and I have known each other for over 4 years...she is also 23, an extreamly beautiful and hot girl, and also a virgin. Yeah, it seems to the natural thinking that it would be better for our first experiences if we were both "experienced" first, but nevertheless I trust that it will be great! Why, even when people aren't in committed relationships, from what I heard sometimes it can take weeks or months even for the girl to be without pain and enjoying the experience (thankfully not always), and of course us guys need to learn some things as well. So, that is fine...what is the difference???...I will get to go through that experience with someone I really love...and honestly I would feel really honored we could share that time together!
Oh, also...you know, if my life had been different and I had married a girl who was not a vigin, I don't believe it would not bother me. Just I would want to know first that her thinking about committment had changed from that time, and second, that she would understand she has more experience than me...so...a little understanding and patient about that point. :)
Thanks for your posts, people! I enjoyed reading and learning from you all! :)
Live a great life!!! :)
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David84
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 10-03-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-13-2006 at 05:57 |
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f
See this is the thing that amuses me about the stereotypes/misconceptions of virgins. Like others posting here, I'm a virgin, and I'm 22.
When someone first hears that you're a virgin, they assume you're a 'prude' and have no sexual drive whatsoever. Quite the contrary, people that know me (as others have posted above), have trouble believing I'm a virgin because I do indeed have a sex drive, it's just a conscious decision to wait.
Of course I can understand where the misconception comes from because a large portion of the virgins I do meet are indeed that 'prudish' type with no sex drive.
The interesting part comes now, how do you meet other like minded virgins? Even on these forums there seems to be only a few, and most are spread throughout the entire states, an interesting predicament, because once you clear 21, it's safe to assume at least 90% of the people you know have had sex.
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-13-2006 at 06:37 |
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I agree
I agree that people like to assume a virgin will have no sex drive which is just sooooo wronge. I know plenty of girls who don't enjoy sex and do indeed have low sex drives and yet they are out having sex with numerous partners every weekend. They have sex because 'its the thing to do' They do it to please the guy, because they think it's the only way to keep the guy interested in them' It's like they're just going through the 'motions' yet they aren't really having that much fun. Anyone can get laid, it has nothing to do with your sex drive! It all depends on 'why' you are having sex.
I admit I use to think other virgins were prudish. I especially thought that Christian virgins would be especially prudish and then I found the coolest site that was really eye-opening and changed my opionion of Christians.
Check out
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/
98% of the people on this discussion board were virgins and Christians when they married and now they have some of the best sex lives and they're still married 20 years later. They are pro-masturbation, use sex toys, make sex videos, have sex twice a day. Seriously, these people had NO prior experience when they got married and they are doing JUST FINE now in their sex lives.
I know plenty of divorced couples who had a great sex while dating (thought they were very compatible) and then it disappeared/turned sour after they were married! There are lots of stereoypes and lies in the world about sex that people will believe unfortunately.
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David84
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 10-03-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-13-2006 at 12:28 |
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a
'I agree that people like to assume a virgin will have no sex drive which is just sooooo wronge. I know plenty of girls who don't enjoy sex and do indeed have low sex drives and yet they are out having sex with numerous partners every weekend. They have sex because 'its the thing to do' They do it to please the guy, because they think it's the only way to keep the guy interested in them' It's like they're just going through the 'motions' yet they aren't really having that much fun. Anyone can get laid, it has nothing to do with your sex drive! It all depends on 'why' you are having sex.
I admit I use to think other virgins were prudish. I especially thought that Christian virgins would be especially prudish and then I found the coolest site that was really eye-opening and changed my opionion of Christians.
Check out
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/
98% of the people on this discussion board were virgins and Christians when they married and now they have some of the best sex lives and they're still married 20 years later. They are pro-masturbation, use sex toys, make sex videos, have sex twice a day. Seriously, these people had NO prior experience when they got married and they are doing JUST FINE now in their sex lives.
I know plenty of divorced couples who had a great sex while dating (thought they were very compatible) and then it disappeared/turned sour after they were married! There are lots of stereoypes and lies in the world about sex that people will believe unfortunately.'
yep that's exactly it, I agree fully. On the flip side though I don't feel that someone should try to do absolutely no sexual things (including masturbation) previous to marriage, because I really do believe that you essentially will turn off your sex drive completely.
I could be wrong about that, but someone going 25 years, essentially having to turn off every sexual desire, I think would have longterm 'consequences'.
but that's exactly why i'm holding out myself :D
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princessprettykitty
Junior Member
Posts: 22
Registered: 06-21-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-13-2006 at 15:30 |
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Reply
I'm 21 and although I've had boyfriends in the past I havent had full sex yet. I think virginity is more down to personal choice myself than anything.
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kotenochek
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 12-11-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-21-2006 at 23:52 |
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That is a cool site
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/
That is a cool site, Dreamangel with some great info, open minds and links to clean sites. :)
Thanks!
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 12-24-2006 at 20:00 |
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....
I know, isn't it a helpful site with great info. I'm tired of Christian sites having this attitude that sex is somehow dirty and needs to be repressed. This site has the opposite view and makes you realize that it's very possible to save sex for marriage and have a great sex life. All the excuses about sexual incompatibility and needing to test drive the car first sound pathetic when you take into account the great, adventrous sex lives these people have despite that they waited for marriage.
I know many couples who claimed the sex was great while dating and then had NO sex after they were married.
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